Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i may or may not be watching the land before time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
