I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
