Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
