You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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