Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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  (757): I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you? http://tfl.nu/hgrf
  Replies (16) Good night (5000) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

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  (712): I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good. http://tfl.nu/eno8
  Replies (4) Good night (4799) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up

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  (562): Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up http://tfl.nu/thrv
  Replies (18) Good night (1192) Bad night (3663)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (6123) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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  (727): she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex http://tfl.nu/jq0b
  Replies (12) Good night (7724) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.

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  (210): After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/pl4c
  Replies (17) Good night (3251) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  im sober

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive

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  (815): im sober (920): you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive http://tfl.nu/hm58
  Replies (3) Good night (2459) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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  (306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv
  Replies (6) Good night (1923) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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  (513): He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet. http://tfl.nu/9hfz
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?

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  (312): You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time? http://tfl.nu/pzpq
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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  (901): Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/jvs2
  Replies (7) Good night (664) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Dude I've been in FL since Monday.

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  (903): Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night. (1-903): Dude I've been in FL since Monday. http://tfl.nu/crr9
  Replies (3) Good night (2260) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.

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  (865): My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs. http://tfl.nu/mqhq
  Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like

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  (423): There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like http://tfl.nu/a9lz
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is

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  (704): I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/xljt
  Replies (9) Good night (514) Bad night (223)

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