Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15286) Bad night (1412)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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  (416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2
  Replies (16) Good night (7250) Bad night (1086)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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  (978): he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/v7b4
  Replies (16) Good night (1483) Bad night (7345)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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  (218): Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'? http://tfl.nu/wgpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1598) Bad night (4712)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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  (682): I plan on gettn treatment center drunk http://tfl.nu/t6du
  Replies (3) Good night (2177) Bad night (1033)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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  (512): There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex. http://tfl.nu/22uc
  Replies (5) Good night (2417) Bad night (1014)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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  (702): It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B. http://tfl.nu/uw83
  Replies (8) Good night (1169) Bad night (2326)
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  (760): View more from California

  can you blow me for old times sake

  (951): View more from California

  only for old times sake

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  (760): can you blow me for old times sake (951): only for old times sake http://tfl.nu/ab6d
  Replies (9) Good night (3774) Bad night (697)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?

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  (713): OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'? http://tfl.nu/3dip
  Replies (16) Good night (4028) Bad night (907)
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  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (474) Bad night (865)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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  (314): I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger http://tfl.nu/k75x
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (591)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

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  (630): I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award. http://tfl.nu/kz36
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (368)
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  (408): View more from California

  Dude, that was like bongs ago.

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  (408): Dude, that was like bongs ago. http://tfl.nu/4e28
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (225)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

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  (405): I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot. http://tfl.nu/dd00
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (215)
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  (818): View more from California

  I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room

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  (818): I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room http://tfl.nu/ovpj
  Replies (6) Good night (615) Bad night (217)

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