Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

Replies (21) Good night (690) Bad night (2414)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...

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(910): the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine... http://tfl.nu/onh4

Replies (126) Good night (5319) Bad night (879)
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(205): View more from Alabama

just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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(205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764

Replies (47) Good night (6375) Bad night (2101)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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(610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be

Replies (9) Good night (4261) Bad night (950)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.

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(412): She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing. http://tfl.nu/dwve

Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (1573)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order

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(715): I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order http://tfl.nu/7p7j

Replies (14) Good night (5249) Bad night (837)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

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(503): I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan. http://tfl.nu/4npq

Replies (12) Good night (3340) Bad night (1854)
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(907): View more from Alaska

On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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(907): On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face http://tfl.nu/k6gh

Replies (3) Good night (1477) Bad night (772)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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(615): we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress. http://tfl.nu/a7a3

Replies (0) Good night (1824) Bad night (738)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I think I sprained my soul last night

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(773): I think I sprained my soul last night http://tfl.nu/779v

Replies (11) Good night (2432) Bad night (851)
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(813): View more from Florida

This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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(813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5

Replies (8) Good night (1812) Bad night (488)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.

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(+61): The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over. http://tfl.nu/0wud

Replies (5) Good night (1041) Bad night (373)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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(226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm

Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (431)
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(530): View more from California

I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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(530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji

Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (262)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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(919): Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him. http://tfl.nu/jn2a

Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (225)

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