So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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