Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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