Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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