So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
