ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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