I think I just saw someone hide a body.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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