everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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