so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize