What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
