Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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