super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
