his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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