dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
