I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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