So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
