Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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