there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
