You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
