Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
