Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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