My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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