Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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