just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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