He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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