I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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