she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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