Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
