her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
