so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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