Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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