this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
