I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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