i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
