I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
