ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
As shirtless as possible
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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