thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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