if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
