and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
