i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
