I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
