The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
