theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
accomplished twins. life is a go
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
