Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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