my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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