I just cut my nipple shaving
i just had sex bonerless
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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