so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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