i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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