One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
