I wish I only lived at night.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
