I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
