No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
