Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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