thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every concussion has its silver lining
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
