how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
