College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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