Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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