On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
