So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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