Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my being single is dangerous.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
porn star boner night. come get it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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