No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
